Buying hope…
I just did a book signing at the Ideal Home Exhibition in London, and there was a big display with copies of my book ‘Banish Clutter Forever – How the toothbrush principle will change your life’ for people to browse through. The organiser told me that although they had books and talks scheduled by much more famous names, that a lot of people seemed interested in mine, and in the subject of clutter in general.
Maybe that should have surprised me but it didn’t. I felt surrounded by examples of conspicuous consumption. The kinds of people who go to the Ideal Home show are well off and interested in investing in their homes. That’s great, but whilst they’re trying to make a decision about what they’d like in order to live a life they love, they’re encouraged to pick up an awful lot of other stuff on the way. So there they were at the book stall, both accumulating clutter at the show, and simultaneously wondering how to be free of it.
I think those people at the book stall are a neat representation of most of us. Those of us who are 50 and under have been raised with the idea of consumption as a good thing, and the idea that somewhere out there, there is an object that will solve our every problem, if only we could find it. Wrinkles? No problem… buy this anti-aging cream.
Now I’ve nothing against moisturiser in general as I find that it really does help my skin to feel comfortable, but it’s not going to make my wrinkles go away. And the key is in the name of the product. It’s called ‘anti-aging’ cream because it’s actually a placebo to help me feel better when I worry that I’m looking old. I could spend £150 on a pot of the finest anti-aging cream every month, and I’m not saying that I shouldn’t take care of myself, but it’s much cheaper to get an adequate moisturiser and accept myself as I am. Much wiser too, when, short of surgery (which I think would make me look and feel like a freak) there’s not much else I can realistically do. But accepting my own aging face (when I was hoping I’d remain young forever!) takes a lot more painful effort than shelling out £150. Crucially, it actually requires me to think for myself, and to come up with my own psychological solution, and one that’s not necessarily validated by others. (£150 is starting to sound like a bargain, isn’t it? Just kidding…)
As long as I have a knee jerk reaction to my own problems and desires, then it’s easy for companies to sell me the latest (quite often useless) product to make me feel better, and help me to kid myself that I’m actually doing something about it. Basically this is what I call ‘buying hope’ that my anxieties will get solved without my putting any more thought into them than taking something to the till.
Obviously some of the things we buy to enhance our lives really do work and help us do just that. But a lot of what we end up calling clutter, is actually stuff that we thought would solve a problem just by virtue of the fact that we purchased it. I’m guessing a lot of you with unused fitness equipment will be nodding here! And it feels so difficult to let go of, because doing that means finally conceding that we don’t yet have a solution to the original problem of getting fit, for instance.
The belief that every solution comes in the form of a product isn’t just a harmless and amusing little error. It’s an idea that has serious implications for all of us, even aside of those who end up in debt because they feel compelled to buy the clothes/cars/gadgets that make them feel attractive or even just adequate as a person, and those whose houses are hard to live in because they’re ‘drowning’ in those so-called solutions. There is one thing that will catch up with all of us in the end, as a result of collectively perpetuating this myth. Our planet will not stand being denuded and polluted at the current rate, and if we continue to do that, we’re going to have to live with the consequences.
So the next time you are tempted to purchase something that isn’t a true essential, or is even a bit of an indulgence, ask yourself if the feeling you want to have really resides in that box? Sometimes you’ll find that you can save yourself the money and make the feeling you want, all by yourself, either by changing your mindset, or your habits, or with what you already have.
Great post I have so many fitness dvds and bits and bobs but I do nothing…yet each time I buy something I feel I am on the way to getting fit. I need to MOVE it not buy it!
So true! And if you worked out a way of moving more that you really enjoyed, such as a sport you love, then it’ll keep you fit into old age.
Wonderful, thought-provoking post, Sheila. It is so much a part of today’s thinking to find an easy way out instead of benefiting from the inevitably more demanding experience of putting ourselves through a process. If you can buy, it pay for it; minimise physical and psychological effort. The quick solution is the best solution. But is it? Slow roasted tomatoes taste infinitely better than quick-fried ones and ones that have ripened slowly on the vine are even more flavoursome.
Your analogy about cluttering the house with objects to clear clutter is brilliant and points out the utter futility of not tackling the problem at its source.
The other brilliant – though it should be obvious – point, is that a shelf or a box will simply sit there consuming space unless you put in the effort to do what it takes to make it useful!!
Thanks for that.
Hi Sheila:
I appreciate your article and had similar thoughts about the act of buying. Us, the consumers have only one strengh in front of this industry, but the most powerful. It is the power of saying no, I don’t really need it. If everyone of us becomes sensitive to what’s in the bottle we will contribute to make a better world.
Roxanne
Very true, Roxanne. And the better we can face our problems clear sightedly, the more likely we are to be able to say no to what’s in the bottle, or box if we don’t need it.