Sheila Chandra - Thursday, September 28, 2017

A couple of weeks ago I posted a blog about what I call ‘buying hope’ in the form of objects to solve problems or anxieties (real or imagined), and how it can feel impossible to stop or to concede defeat by letting go of them, much less making your own healthy solution. This time, I want to talk about a sister problem.


We’ve been taught we can buy stardust too

Celebrity culture has never been bigger business than it is now. And in many cases it’s peopled with those who are famous for their looks or simply for being famous. Even singers or footballers who do have amazing skills seem to be selling ‘stardust’ and mystique rather than just marketing their abilities. The aura of sexual attractiveness which hangs around them is what really rockets their associated merchandise into the sales figures stratosphere. That, and the promise that the ‘stardust’, mystique and allure that they have, has been bottled and added into the product you’re purchasing which they’ve endorsed.

I can tell you for certain – you can’t buy stardust

As someone who’s other job depends on at least being able to generate a bit of stage presence, I can tell you the truth. Celebrity products don’t help. Even the most expensive make up, perfume, dress or equipment doesn’t help (unless it’s truly suited to the situation and to your technical needs). Of course you should look your best, and be supported with the right equipment, however basic, but you can’t buy a ‘lucky talisman’ that will make a performance good, and similarly, you can’t buy one to make a date go well, or attract the partner of your dreams.

You have to make your own stardust

The truth is much simpler and much more annoying than that. If you want to be charismatic, or alluring, you have to make those elusive qualities for yourself. And when you do, you’ll be able to hold your own in the most illustrious company and wherever you are.

I once heard a relationship coach say that in dating terms, he’d rather be Superman rather than Batman. That’s because if you stripped Batman of his high tech stuff, he’d be rather ordinary, but Superman remains inherently special no matter how much of his stuff you take away. And it’s the same principle here. So save your money if you’re buying a product because of someone it’s associated with and not for what it inherently is. Take the difficult, disciplined option. Because once you’ve learned to manufacture your own stardust, you’ll never look back.

If you’d like to understand more about why you compulsively ‘buy stardust’ download a free excerpt of ‘Banish Clutter Forever’.

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